[mittaustagi]
In collaboration with CLUSE & Indiedays
Now that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, I’m talking about an important subject on the blog. Self-love. I’m so happy CLUSE challenged me to this #timetoloveme collaboration, since I have some thoughts to share with you. So keep reading if you want to hear a bit about my story.
Nyt kun ystävänpäivä on jo nurkan takana, CLUSE haastoi minut #timetoloveme kampanjaansa pohtimaan itsensä rakastamisen merkitystä. Tämä aihe sai minut mietteliääksi heti. Mulla olisi ajatuksia jakaa vaikka pitkään postaussarjaankin, mutta mikäli teitä kiinnostaa lyhyesti kuulla omasta tarinastani, niin siitä tässä postauksessa.
Self-compassion is so crucial for a happy and free life. You must love yourself first – you’ve probably heard that sentence million times already. But when you stop and think about it, that’s just 100% true. We must love and accept ourselves in order to be happy. Accept ourselves as a whole human being, with all kind of flaws, quirky sides and imperfections. Stop seeing ourselves as a project or something that needs to be changed in any way, stop waiting for something to happen, and stop feeling like we don’t deserve the life we want. When we fully accept ourselves, that’s when we welcome all the miracles in our life, when everything will fall into place and life becomes easier. And you start seeing love everywhere!
Itsensä rakastaminen saattaa kuulostaa negatiivissävytteiseltä, mutta sitä se ei nyt tässä ole, sillä se on yksi tärkeimpiä edellytyksiä onnelliseen ja vapaaseen elämään. Ensin täytyy rakastaa itseään, sen sanonnan on kuullut varmasti kaikki. Ja se on vain niin totta, ei vain parisuhteissa, vaan aivan kaikessa. Se että hyväksyy itsensä täysin kaikkine puolineen, kaikkien epätäydellisyyksien ja persoonallisten piirteiden kanssa. Lopettaa näkemästä itsensä keskeneräisenä projektina, tai minään mitä täytyisi muuttaa. Mitä jos hyväksyisi itsensä juuri nyt, juuri sellaisena kuin on, rakastaisi itseään ja luottaisi että juuri siitä päätöksestä kaikki lähtisi parempaan? Niin se nimittäin menee. Kun hyväksyy itsensä täysin, se on kuin kutsuisi kaikki maailman ihmeet elämäänsä, palaset alkavat loksahtelemaan paikoilleen, elämä helpottuu ja siitä alkaa nauttia aivan uudella tavalla. Ja alkaa näkemään rakkautta kaikkialla ympärillä.
To be honest, years went by before I fully accepted myself. There was a time I used to even fear reading the comments on my blog. I felt so bad for positive comments, because I felt like I was a fraud who didn’t deserve them. I went through so many struggles you’ve no idea. Cruel self-talk affected on everything, it made me feel like I was never enough. I didn’t treat myself well, I didn’t treat the people around me well, and that made me feel so much more worse. I asked for help, and after a long process of going through my old thoughts, I finally realized they were not true. That wasn’t easy, and in today’s society the pressures sometimes trigger my old thoughts of not being enough, creating fear and chaos. But nowadays I know how to deal with them, I know how to get my mind back on the right track. Seeing myself as my best friend again. Imagining 10-year-old me, would I be cruel to that little girl, or would I cheer her up, and tell everything is okay. Life is such a beautiful thing, we must appreciate it, we must appreciate ourselves and let ourselves be free. ♥
Valehtelisin jos väittäisin että olen aina rakastanut täysin itseäni, eikä mitään ongelmia ole ollut näiden asioiden kanssa. Yhteen aikaan vuosia sitten välttelin jopa blogikommenttien lukemista, positiivisia kommentteja lukiessa tunsin itseni vain huijariksi joka ei ansainnut niitä. Kamppailin itseni hyväksymisen ja kaikkeen siihen liittyvän kanssa, ja riittämätön fiilis vaikutti kaikkeen elämässä. En kohdellut itseäni hyvin, en ympärilläni olevia ihmisiä, ja se vain pahensi omaa oloa. Onneksi lopulta näin, miten vanhat juurtuneet ajatukset itsestäni eivät olleetkaan totta. Ei se helppoa ollut, eikä yhteen lauseeseen voi tiivistää tuota matkaa. Vielä tänäpäivänäkin kun paineet ovat kovat, voi välillä tuntua ettei riitä. Mutta nyt mä tiedän miten niiden ajatusten kanssa toimin, miten saan mieleni palautettua takaisin oikeille raiteille, enkä lähde siihen väärään huonoon kehään joka ei johda mihinkään. Jos kuvittelen 10-vuotiaan minäni, puhuisinko ilkeästi sille pienelle tytölle, vai lohduttaisinko ja kertoisin että kaikki järjestyy ja olet juuri hyvä tuollaisena? Elämä on niin arvokas asia, täytyy antaa itsensä elää vapaana ja onnellisena. Parempi havahtua myöhään kuin ei milloinkaan.
Even though self-love is an inside job, and much more than just pampering ourselves, pampering yourself is still important too. One thing I just love, is having breakfast somewhere in a cafe. Oh how much I love breakfasts. I had breakfast for lunch yesterday, haha that was the truth behind these pictures. Matcha raw porridge, green juice, latte and a croissant shared with a friend. One thing that actually changed after I started to appreciate myself more: I started seeing more little things I wanted to include in my life. I suddenly realized the little things are everything. I love making time for a spa night at home, doing a face mask and polishing my nails in my favorite light pink color. I love lighting up candles, opening up a book and drinking something warm. I love long walks with Minnie and seeing her excitement. And I love seeing the beauty around me, which happened only after accepting myself. What a beautiful thing nature is, and what beautiful creations we all human are, just the way we are. I started seeing everyone as equal. And I started understanding others more too, you never know what struggle someone might be going through.
Vaikka itsensä hyväksyminen on henkinen juttu, joka tarkoittaa paljon enemmän kuin vain itsensä hemmottelua, on se silti mun mielestä tärkeä osa sitä. Kohtelee itseään hyvin ja priorisoi itselle tärkeitä asioita. Yksi tapa, jolla hemmottelen itseäni aika ajoin, on aamiaisen syöminen jossain kahvilassa. Näissä kuvissa söin eilen aamiaista lounaaksi, hah joskus niinkin. Matcha raakapuuroa, vihermehu, latte sekä croissant jaettavaksi kaverin kanssa. Kun aloin arvostamaan itseäni enemmän, havahduin juuri tällaisiin pieniin asioihin joita halusin enemmän elämääni, joita olin laiminlyönyt. Pienet asiat ovatkin niitä suuria. Rakastan pikkurutiineja, kuten viikottaista spa-iltaani, kun laitan kasvonaamion ja lakkaan kynteni sen hetken suosikkisävyllä. Viestejä kavereiden kanssa ja huonoja vitsejä. Pitkiä lenkkejä raikkaassa ilmassa Minnien kanssa, ja Minnien innostusta kaikesta. Iltaisin kynttilöiden sytyttämistä ja kirjan lukua ennen nukkumaanmenoa teekupillisen kanssa. Ja rakastan sitä miten silmät avautuivat kaikelle ympäröivälle paremmin, miten paljon kiehtovampaa kaikki ympärillä olikaan, ja miten tuntui kuin elämä ja inspiraatio taas virtasi ja miten se antoi energiaa. Ja aloin ymmärtämään enemmän muita, ikinä ei tiedä mitä kamppailua joku toinen voi käydä sisällään.
Let’s jump into lighter things! My new watch. Minuit Mesh Rosegold/White from CLUSE, I think the rose gold & white combination is so lovely and girly, and so Valentine’s Day appropriate. Yes I loved myself a new watch hahha! It feels so luxurious on my wrist, it goes with everything, and the strap makes it so beautiful and feminine, even though it’s the ‘minuit’ size. And freshens up an outfit I think! I already had this model in gold/black, and I’ve wore that so much I’m sure the same thing will happen with this one. This is actually one of my favorites from CLUSE!
Mutta sitten kevyempään aiheeseen, uuteen kellooni! Minuit Mesh Rosegold/White CLUSElta, tuo roosakulta-valko-kombinaatio on niin ihana ja tyttömäinen, juuri ystävänpäivään sopiva. Oon musta+kulta-komboista samanmallista kelloa käyttänyt nyt eniten, joten tämä pääsee varmasti yhtä kovaan käyttöön. Vähän raikkaampi ja kenties naisellisempi tuolla valkoisella kellotaululla. Ja sopii taas aivan kaiken kanssa. Tämä taitaa olla lempparimallini CLUSElta.
How do you show yourself self-love? It can be anything, please just share something little below on the comments! 🙂
Minkälaisilla pienillä jutuilla te hemmottelette itseänne? 🙂 Saa jakaa aivan mitä vain ajatuksia!
Sonvas says
Tärkeitä asioista, joita jokaisen on hyvä pysähtyä välillä miettimään ajan kanssa.
Aamupala näyttää super herkulliselta! Clusen kelloja on tullut itseasiassa ihasteltua viime aikoina pajon, vaikka en aiemmin ole kovin kellojen ystävä ollut 🙂
http://sonvas.blogspot.fi
Marianna says
Niinpä. 🙂 Kiitos paljon kommentista! Clusen kellot on kyllä mun mielestä kaikki niin tyylikkäitä!
Ivetka says
You’re totally right, this is a very touching post – and so true and important also for me 🙂 I’m still struggling with acceptance of myself. You mentioned you asked for help – how? If it’s not too personal :-).
Thank you for this post and I love the new cover photo, have a wonderful rest of the week :-).
Marianna says
Thank you for the comment Ivetka! Sending all good thoughts to you, I found some self-help type of books really powerful too, my favorite author in that category is Gabrielle Bernstein. It might be too personal to answer more in detail to your question, but you can probably guess the answer too. 🙂 Thanks so much! x
Antonia says
I really love the message in this post. I think it’s really hard these times to feel self love because you can relate to all these celebs and bloggers out there. Especially instagram shows a “fake” world and many girls feel bad because everyone is wearing designer handbags and traveling all the time.
Nevertheless it makes me feel comfortable to know that I have a man a family in my back. Hope you have a nice evening!
Antonia says
Oh I forgot to say: your photo quality is amazing and you are so beautiful <3
And I am curious: How and where did you ask for help?
Marianna says
Thank you so much Antonia! <3 It does, there are so many girls on instagram who seem to have it all, that can put a lot of pressure to younger girls, or actually to anyone. But the world on instagram is not reality, in the end they are just pictures that might tell nothing. Thank you for the great comment! Oh and to answer your question, I just hit a point where I realized I couldn't work on my thoughts just by myself, but feels a bit too personal to go deeper. 🙂 x
A says
I think what you wrote is so important. I think a lot of girls may strugle to love themselves because they don’t have a boyfriend, so they feel as though they’re not loved as much as the ones that have them. But in my opinion, you can’t depend on someone else’s love for you, to feel fully happy you have to love yourself first 🙂
Marianna says
I agree! And with a wrong mindset you’ll 99% likely end up with wrong guys who’ll only make the situation worse. Thank you for the good comment, that is so true! 🙂 x
Marion says
You are become more commercial it’s so sad 🙁
Marianna says
I’m a full-time blogger so I do collaborations too, but it’s still a small percent of the content, and every brand I work with I’m proud to work with. And every post I do is written from the heart and honest, so don’t let the “in collaboration with—” fool you 🙂 Hope you understand what I mean! x
Marion says
Yes, i understand but you are changed, before the blog and you, are more simple, more naturel, now your are more commercial, you post on the blog and all. Before you take your time for speak, exchange with your followers but no now. Now you are changed, you are not like before and it’s so sad because i and we love the Marianna of past, you are become more superficial, commercial, and you take not time for answer your fans. Is sad, really sad.
Marianna says
There is no old Marianna and a new Marianna. It’s the one and same Marianna, we all grow up, we all change in a way, but I always have and always will respect all my readers, the comments, and put my heart in this job, because it’s not just a job. 🙂 But I know, you can’t please everyone. So I suggest not reading any blog that makes you sad… x
Kate says
I don’t agree with this statement about the blog 🙂 Yes, the blogs has changed slightly as years have gone by, but what in life ever stays the same? Personally I find changes refreshing, as they add variety and adventure. Also for a blog to pay, you have endorse some products. I don’t mind, as I get to read about some nice things I haven’t heard of before. All this to say, I love the old posts, but I also love the new ones. Thanks for the transparency and honest words in this post! 🙂
Isabel says
I really think the opposite way of Marion, no offense 🙂 I see some small differences in the blog but the essence is the same. Blog and Marianna both grew, naturaly,but the commercial partnerships are always inserted in the blog in a natural and coherent way. Today’s post is a perfect mix of relevant and interesting content + advertising. Wish you the best from Portugal 🙂
Meg says
I don’t agree too. This is te same Marianna but older. It is natural change. You are true and the best. And your blog is amazing 🙂 Greets from Poland
Marianna says
Oh wow, thank you Isabel, Kate and Meg! How beautiful comments, your support makes me so happy <3 I feel so grateful to have readers like you! x
Yana says
I really liked your post and your photos are beautiful)
Marianna says
Thank you so much Yana! You’re so sweet! 🙂 x
V. says
You say: I asked for help. Who helped you? I have the same problem and I feel lost. I can´t help myslef. I just can´t.
V. says
Oh, it is personal. Sorry. But I think, I know 🙂
Marianna says
So sorry to hear that! But I know you can change your thoughts and you’ll get there, sending all my love and support to you 🙂 I feel like I might need to do more posts of this subject… x
Dalena says
This post is so important and beautiful! I’m so thankful you wrote this. It gave me so much to think about. Thank you <3
Marianna says
Thank you so much Dalena, makes me so happy to hear that! 🙂 <3
Kathrin says
This is an awesome post and it is full of truth. We just can get the best of our lives by accepting and loving ourselves.
I loved reading your thoughts of this specific topic so much 🙂
I love having a big waffle breakfast and fruits with my sister while watching our favorite tv series.
Best wishes to you <3
Marianna says
Yes exactly! 🙂 Thanks so much Kathrin! <3
Charlotte says
Marianna I’m in love with your sweater, what brand is it?
Marianna says
Found it from the H&M sales a few weeks ago 🙂 x
Victoria says
I love this post, it’s such a good message to spread and something which people need to hear more often in our ever-critical world <3
http://victorialouisekblogs.blogspot.co.uk/
Victoria
X
Marianna says
Yes exactly. <3 Thank you so much Victoria!
Happy Chic says
I love Starbucks so I treat myself to a heart warming coffee as often as I feel the need. I journal in my fashion magazine as I enjoy the beverage.
Marianna says
Oh yes, coffee is one of the best treats. Thank you for sharing! x
Eva says
You wrote some beautiful words here and very understandable. I still have a lot of self-hate from time to time unfortunately. I hate when I let people down, when I say no when people are counting on a yes, when I said something dumb again and everybody signs, when my plannend outfit pictures are ugly… I blame it on myself a lot.
But these words you wrote are so true and beautiful. We should really take time to love ourselfs and treat ourselves nice. It’s a good resolution for 2017 and after 😉 I will need some more time then a year I think, but someday I’ll get there too, where you are now 🙂
Marianna says
Sorry to hear that! You need to prioritize yourself more, appreciate your time and your feelings, you do your decisions based on your instincts, they are the best ones. But I hope and know you’ll fully get there! Thank you so much for the comment Eva 🙂 x
Tiinam says
Kaunis postaus – niin sisällön kuin kuvienkin puolesta 🙂 Hyviä ja tärkeitä ajatuksia 🙂 Kello on ihana!
Marianna says
Voi kiitos paljon Tiina! 🙂
Nicky Zeeb says
This is such an amazing post. I definitely agree with everything you said. Self love is the most important kind of love.
Nicky Zeeb xx
Marianna says
It is! Thank you Nicky. 🙂 x
Marta says
You’re right- pictures might fool young girls and put so much pressure to be perfect. Imperfection is beauty as Marilyn Monroe said. When I look at your pictures it’s really hard to believe that you had struggles with accepting yourself, because your life seems to be perfect and I bet so many people would do anything to live your life. But it’s just a surface. I had problems with relationship with myself too and I went to therapy. Did you do that too? It helped me a lot with putting my thoughts in order and clearing my mind and values.
Marianna says
Yup, that is true. That feels so funny to hear, but yeah the pictures on my blog are mostly the good part of everything, and there is a real life behind every picture that is far from perfect. Thanks so much for this comment Marta! x
Emmi says
Moikka! Joskus kirjoitit ohimennen että olit KonMarittanut vaatekaappiasi. Voisitko tehdä postauksen kodistasi, missä näkyisi kuinka kaapit on järjestetty ja miten muuten pidät järjestystä yllä kodissasi, se kun näyttää aina niin siistiltä! 🙂 Tämä siis vain tälläinen postausehdotus mikä tuli mieleeni.
Marianna says
Moikka! Olin kyllä, mulle tulikin hurjan paljon tätä postaustoivetta eilen kun olin snäpännyt vaatekaappejani, eli tästä siis postaus tulossa. Kiva kuulla että kiinnostaa 🙂
Pilvi says
Lisää tämän tyyppisiä postauksia! Onko sulla fyysisiä vinkkejä siihen, miten aloit puhuttelemaan itseäsi eritavalla? Mielellään lukisin enemmänkin tästä aiheesta 🙂
Marianna says
Todella vaikea vastata tähän ainakaan mitenkään lyhyesti, en mä ehkä itsekään vielä täysin hahmota miten se käännekohta tapahtui. Ulkopuolinen apu oli tarpeen, mutta monet kirjat auttoivat myös paljon, jos yksi pitäisi mainita niin Gabrielle Bernstein Spirit Junkie. Aloin ymmärtämään ettei se itsekritiikki ja armottomuus johda mihinkään, jota kautta vain tein päätöksen alkaa havannoimaan niitä kriittisiä ajatuksia, tuossa kirjassa esim konkreettisia neuvoja mitä niiden kanssa tehdä. Aloin priorisoimaan omaa hyvinvointia, tärkeimpänä sitä hyvinvoivaa mieltä, liian usein mielletään hyvinvointi heti terveellisesti syömiseksi ja urheiluksi, kun kaikki lähtee mielestä. Meditointi, rauhoittuminen, ystävät ja perhe, niistä oli apua. Jos saavuttaa sellaisen pisteen, että ymmärtää miten paljon rajoittaa omaa elämäänsä omilla ajatuksillaan ja haluaa siihen muutoksen, niin siitä se lähtee, ihan vain halusta tehdä muutos. Ehkä mä vielä kirjoittelen aiheesta 🙂
Raina says
Hi Marianna,
I wish you would be a little bit more authentic in your posts, especially when you’re doing a more personal one. I know you don’t want to get too personal, but your post just reads like a bunch of cliches and advice we’ve heard over and over again already. You had an opportunity to really open up in this post, and I don’t feel like you did that. I wish you would be more real!
Still love your blog – just want to see more of the real Marianna!
Marianna says
Hi Raina. I gave my authentic words, if you couldn’t feel it, I’m sorry. I really doubt you are a supporter of my blog, since this was 100% me… 🙂 But it really warms my heart that so many of my readers liked this. x
Raina says
Marianna,
Someone can be a supporter of your blog without agreeing with or loving every post you make. After that comment, which came across as snarky, I have no intention of continuing to read your blog. If you can’t take constructive criticism then you shouldn’t be running a blog.
Angelika says
Well, opening fully to others we really don’t know it’s a hard thing to do. Each of us would struggle before saying too much. Marianna used cliches to help others who might have the same kind of troubles, without telling all her difficult story. Would you say to everuone what you were coming through in the past? Nobody wants their past to affect their future, so cliches are the best way to speak your heart without telling everything, the things you can’t tell back. We should appreciate what Marianna tried to do, to help without ruin her private life. There always too many demons waiting to waken up. Marianna is a public person, but hey, even public person has right to having their own dramas and past. There is no need for such cruel comments on such a sweet girl, who wants to be honest, but keep some things to herself.
P.S. First you write you still love the blog, then you change your mind so quickly. There is no need to answer to taht comment, I won’t read it anyway, because it would probably be to cruel too. I wrote this only to support Marianna. She deserves it.
Angelika says
Sorry for my poor english, I was typying it quickly 🙂
LauraL says
Moi! Mistä kahvilasta kuvat ovat? Näyttää ihanalta aamupalalta! 🙂
Marianna says
Cargosta, oli kyllä niin hyvää 🙂
K. says
Thank you for another heart warming post. I am always waiting for this kind of your thoughts. I think family, friends and health should really matter in our lives. Nevertheless I think I do not like myself and this does not let me to have a balance in life, sometimes really hate all the bad thoughts coming into my head and the chaos. I have to look now for your previous posts 🙂 Thanks a lot again all the best
Marianna says
Aw, thank you so much 🙂 I might need to continue writing more deeper posts in the future. I really hope you can work on those thoughts about yourself, you and your life are way too valuable for that kind of negativity. I agree what you say about friends, family and health. x
Janika says
This post is absolutely perfect, love the pictures and your toughts about loving yourself.
Reading your blog since the beginning and I still love to scroll through your posts.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Janika
Yanikas Blog
Markéta says
Thank you for the post! I think it’s so important to keep remind girls that self love is important and instagram world is just virtual reality! I am preparing a post about it as well. Thank you:)
http://listiration.com
Miss Believer says
They say, if you can’t love yourself, you won’t love anybody else 🙂 x
Ione says
What a beaautiful post, I think you are so right in everything and Reading this post truly make my day! ♥
Anna says
I read your post right after watching “City of Angels” and it really fell into place. It’s hard to be strong, learn to be calm and accept oneself – it’s true. Watch this movie if you haven’t – it really makes you FEEL all the beauty of life and pushes you to indulge it. Lots of good luck to you with everything – you are doing wonderful job!
Paula says
Mariannan… once again… I love yours pics everything about them!! And now, I show myself self-love, tring to take some minutes to have a nice meal, relaxing while reading some magazine o book I like, taking care of my skin, whatching your blog… I have a baby so I have only a few minutes per day so I try to worth it..xoxo
Michelle says
Loved your post and your new header photo, Marianna! 🙂 Thank you for writing such a valuable and emotional post.
It’s always important to be kind to yourself to be happy. It does not only help yourself, but it also spreads the love to the ones around you <3
Kasandra says
Marianna, I want to thank you for writing this beautiful piece. It’s very rare for fashion bloggers and beauty gurus to speak on these touchy subjects. I have been a fan of yours since I was 15 and now I’m 21. I can definitely relate to everything you wrote on this post and it made me admire you even more. I felt a sense of relief to know that I’m not the only one struggling with my thoughts and self love. I will definitely try to speak to someone about my anxiety. I hope you know how much this post helped me move one step forward. Stay beautiful, always.
Marianna says
What a beautiful comment, I’m speechless. I hope you know how much your words mean to me! Thank you so much Kasandra! <3
Elena says
What a lovely topic.
Even though I’m very stressed right now because of exam period at University I try to make time for gym and eating healthy to get my body what it needs and deserves. But a spa day is also already booked for when exams are over hhehe 🙂 <3
Susie says
Dear Marianna,
I really liked this post from you. I have been following your blog since I was 16 and you are so motivating I think! I also have some self-love and thinking issues, but it feels so good to see that I’m not the only one and there is a way out!
Thank you for all your lovely posts!
Susie
Virginie says
This post is truly touching and brave Marianna! I can see myself in what you say, I’m really harsh with myself…self-acceptance and self-love is something I really have to work more on…I know it and I’m trying! I hope I’ll soon achieve what you could achieve: self-love! I’m beyond happy that you’re so well now! 🙂 Love this post! You’re so kind and a beautiful human!
Lots of love, Virginie
Marianna says
Thank you so much beautiful <3 Sending so many good thoughts and love to you, I know you'll get there, though it's so tough to challenge those thoughts and to decide not to believe them. But it's really worth it. x
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